The Bachelor KND Version
by Cindy'sboy93
Summary: I thought this was a cool idea so please read and tell me what you think


_I can't believe the friends I've made this year I mean I was once the shy guy running from friends but one day a blonde girl and a very angry flame colored haired girl changed all that_" A boy was writing as kids were running around a playground finally noticing him.

"_The flame colored haired girl was named Fanny and she got me to come out of my shell by nominating me for a contest involving 25 single girls and seven exes which turned my Summer upside down but let me start from the beginning_".

Rachel Mckenzie, Fanny Fullbright Kuki Sanban, and Abby Lincoln were seated around a table piles of folders surrounding all of them.

"Rache when you said KND bachelor I thought it meant you already had one in mind. I mean I love reading but how do we narrow our choices down this way?" Kuki asked opening another folder.

"Kuki do you think ABC had a bachelor picked out beforehand? I bet they went through millions before they found the right one" Rachel said tossing a folder in a bucket marked not a chance.

"Besides Rachel said I got to pick this being my idea and all lasses. I mean how hard could finding a needle in a hay stack be?" Fanny asked her voice thick with an Irish accent.

"Numbuh 5 thinks this is boring and she could be doing other things right now. I mean how could reading profile after profile be fun?" Abby asked visions of Hoagie putting her in a trance.

"Look this can't be Willy Nilly we need eye candy and a poster child for KND ladies. What about Nigel I hear he's single".

Rachel looked angrily at Fanny her eyes saying it all as Fanny shrugged smiling knowing Rachel would beat every girl's head in if they even looked at Nigel.

"Fine Nigel's out don't be a drama queen but we seriously need a person and now. I'm thinking we should go unconventional since we don't have eye candy".

A folder caught all the girl's attention and Fanny grabbed it leafing through the profile knowing already this boy would be picked because the girls made him a promise long ago that they broke and they were trying to make it up to him.

"There he is KND's new bachelor and I have final say so good luck arguing ladies because he deserves it after how he's treated all the time, losing the KND as friends, and the hand life dealt him" Fanny said as Rachel stamped the profile of John Ward and the stamp said bachelor in red letters.

A boy in black everything walked down the school's hallway everybody whispering and giggling when they saw him approach his locker.

"Great another fine day of being ignored because I'm special needs as if I'm contagious or something" John Ward said seeing guys in letter jackets approach his locker as he whispered oh no under his breath.

"Ward how's it going? Listen enough chit chat do you have our math homework and book reports or are we going to have to bash your head in?" The leader asked as papers were handed to everybody without complaint".

"Great thanks Homework Boat kind of like Rigby in Regular Show changing his name to Trash Boat we're changing your's to Homework Boat".

Everybody ran down the halls away from something the letter jacket gang not noticing everybody else's fear.

"Great well smell you later Homework Boat and remember utter a word and the football team's your new enemies".

John ignored the leader of the gang hoping he would go away but knowing his luck with this gang he knew they wouldn't.

"What's the matter Homework Boat pencil's got your tongue? Say goodbye and send us on our way stupid Homework Boat".

"Or and I'm just taking a shot completely in the dark here you could leave our friend alone and give him back his hard earned work" Fanny said as the gang slowly backed off knowing her rep as the bully of Milford High.

"You know I hate repeating myself Caleb but if I must I will give the boy back the homework he slaved over for what looks like hours now or suffer my wrath".

"Fullbright I don't know what you think you saw but this is our homework we did last night so go patrol the halls or something KND Bait" Caleb said smiling.

Fanny heard enough as she beat the gang and then handed John their homework and he snatched it without a word walking off with Fanny, Rachel, Kuki, and Abby following him.

"Uh yeah thank you, thanks, or gracias would do nicely here Ward I mean I did just save your butt. Also we would like to extend the olive branch of friendship once again".

John shrugged walking into a classroom taking his leather jacket off as the girls followed him to a long table of students.

"Morning John and KND ladies open your books to page 15 and do the problems please show your work" A teacher said as John promptly opened his math book which was his least favorite subject and he went to work.

"So are you ignoring us because you're still peeved about the whole KND denying you thing? Because if you are it's been five years move on already" Fanny said as John huffed angrily erasing a mistake in his arithmetic equation.

"John please talk to us because Fanny wasn't lying we want to extend the olive branch of friendship and we even have a special mission planned just for our bestest friend ever" Kuki said as John did his work being good at ignoring people because he did it all the time.

The teacher walked down the aisle checking in on people's work or to make sure people were working and not talking.

"John really nice job it looks like your improving so keep up the good work and ladies I know KND ensures that you graduate at 18 but that doesn't mean you can disrupt my class talking to obviously driven people" The teacher said walking back to her desk.

"We heard about Claude too and we're very sorry to hear that he died so young but look at it this way at least you have your memories of him" Rachel said as teardrops splashed on his paper and he stormed out of the class the four girl's and teacher following him.

"I don't know what you four said but you better apologize right now because my son is obviously having a hard five years thanks to everyone he thought liked him turning their backs on him".

"Mrs. Ward we didn't say anything that we thought would hurt him we just wanted to pay our respects to Claude because we know how much he-"Fanny began as John stormed from the bathroom determined to have his say.

"**YOU FOUR DON'T KNOW ANYTHING SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALL RIGHT? YOU PROMISED CLAUDE AND ME THAT YOU WOULD NEVER STOP BEING OUR FRIENDS BUT YOU DID AND I WAS THERE TO WATCH HIM DIE NONE OF YOU SAW HIM TAKE HIS LAST BREATH I DID**" John screamed speaking for the first time.

"John I know you think we stopped being your friend but we didn't in fact we got together today and we made a mission especially for you" Rachel said in a soft nice tone knowing it usually calmed him down.

"**DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I THINK BECAUSE YOU AREN'T IN MY HEAD AND YOU COULDN'T HANDLE IT IF YOU WERE IN THERE. I KNOW BEING IGNORED WHEN I SEE IT AND YOU THREE MOST CERTAINLY WROTE ME OFF**."

"John honey I'm sorry we made you feel that we didn't want any part of you. I guess we grew up and forgot how great of a friend you are and when we realized that you were too far gone to listen to us" Kuki said slowly approaching him knowing him in this mode extremely well.

"I guess I just miss Claude because he was a great kitty and a great friend he would never turn his back and run away from me like all my other friends did".

"What about David I mean you two have been friends since Kindergarten right? I mean it was always John and David even before we came along" Fanny said dreading the answer.

"David was invited to a party and I was also invited without him knowing and the girl's throwing the party were popular which should have been my first clue" John began everybody listening to him.

"So they played party games first and the first game was called Slam which is where one person hides under the bed and the party asks their best friend what they really think of them".

"I've played that game before and trust me many a friendship have sailed away thanks to that game none of mine but other people I witnessed lost friends" Fanny said as John got teary eyed.

"So I hid under the bed and they brought David in and asked him what he really thought of me which made me smile because we were such good friends. David walked up to the bed, saw me, then said I was a dweeby loser dummy and then he called me the R word".

John bawled and everyone hugged him knowing the R word well and didn't dare ever use it in front of him or to describe him.

"After the R word I bolted from the room bawling my eyes out and went home isolating myself in my bedroom for a solid year only leaving to use the bathroom, drink, eat food, or go to school".

"Who needs him kid? I mean you got us and once this mission we have for you gets underway he'll be begging for our friendship and we won't give it to him".

"Alright I'm intrigued what mission and will it get me into TND with you guys after? I mean it would be nice to have the old KND agents as my friends" John said as the girls and John's mom smiled knowing her son was about to gain so many friends and fans.

John was given folders to look through as the four girl's agreed if picked they'd compete too and he knew the perfect way to get back at David too.

"Her names Sierra and she's a TDI freak and David's crush. If he wants to be mean I can be mean right back and be better seeing he's obsessed with this purple haired dream" John said writing Sierra's name on a sheet of paper also Kuki, Abby, Fanny, Rachel, Lizzie, and Sonya.

"Thanks Mrs. Richards and yes I'll make sure Sierra is totally safe and secure. Only if she wins she'll have a boyfriend if she wins" Rachel said as we hear screaming on the other side of the meeting room door.

"Look I'm a friend of his and I would love to just have a word with him about this so called broadcast debut" A boy with brown hair said trying to fight his way into the room.

"Well, well, well if it isn't David the no good, backstabbing, flea bitten hound dog himself. Beat it or I swear to God you will not like the outcome Bachelor Groupie" Fanny said cracking her knuckles.

John added Violet Parr, Ginger Foutley, Courtney from TDI, Gwen from TDI, Sam from Danny Phantom, Candace from Phineas And Ferb and Isabella also from Phineas And Ferb as his exes.

"Well the exes list is done now let's continue the twenty five girl list and get my video diary on the TND website" John said as David smirked an evil smile knowing how to hurt John.

"Who would ever date a gothic, riding the bandwagon, crybaby like you? I mean I bet I could get a date with Sierra before you could get a date with a girl".

A girl with purple hair, teal jeans, a light green shirt, a medal with her name on it, teal shoes, and a white belt bolted into the room hugging John.

"Aww you poor, poor thing but don't worry I accept your invitation and I'll teach you to smile a bit more and also dress a little happier" Sierra said taking John's hand and the four girls with David followed her.

"First the shaggy hair has got to go so watch me work and then we can get you a wardrobe, a rocking mansion, some food and drink in you, then we can finish this bachelor list together".

"You know he bawled his eyes out at a party which is why we're not friends anymore because he's a crybaby and he always will be" David said as Sierra stared him down having dirt on him living next to him and all.

"At least he's potty trained like a good puppy you're still wetting your pants and the bed sheets and all. I mean you're being denied liquid before bed time for Pete's sake".

Everybody including John laughed nodding knowing David's dark secrets and he was willing to share more.

"He took his cousin to the first Freshmen dance and he actually kissed her tongue and all with everyone staring. She told him he was a bad kisser and the whole school laughed at him" John said with Rachel attacking his hair with scissors and hair clippers.

"OMG I'm so glad we're not dating I mean your cousin what was your mother or sister busy? How pathetic must you have felt when your cousin said you were a bad kisser?" Fanny asked pouring blonde hair coloring into a sink.

"Yea I mean she was your cousin and you must have kissed her a million times before and for her to call you a bad kisser must have been the lowest for you" Sierra said saying cheese and snapping a picture of her and John.

"Right new bachelor head in the sink and don't take it out until you get the say so from me. When we're done girls are going to be saying David who".

John did as he was told his black hair changing blonde and dozens of bags all including new clothes were dropped in front of Rachel by Abby.

"Numbuh five is never going clothes shopping with Numbuh three again she's just too cheery when clothes shopping" Abby said plopping into the nearest chair.

"Right head out and let's get you dressed and ready to visit Violet Parr's hometown and we'll go from there" Fanny said with John choosing khakis, a Metallica Master Of Puppets shirt, white socks, and red Nikes".

"Well I'm ready when you five are so what do you say we get this show on the road? I mean we still have a bunch of people to invite" John said walking out with the five girl's following him.

In Municiberg California posters of Violet Parr littered every post, store window, and television plus a Violet statue was constructed in the center of town.

"Wow when this town obsesses they obsess hard huh Jonny Boy? Since we're here and the subjects bound to come up later anyways why not tell us why Violet and you broke up? Fanny asked looking around Municiberg.

"Well I guess it all boils down to her job and where I lied in her doing her job the right way. Violet was a good girlfriend but she was a superhero first and a girlfriend second" John said taking one of the posters and staring at it.

"What do you mean where you lied in her doing her job? I mean did she see you and her dating as a job as well?"

"Yea I guess she kind of did in her own way. I was an escape from the superhero universe as she called me and it wasn't long before the super hero universe called her back".

"So I gave him an ultimatum either let me inject him with super powers or move on without me and he chose the second option and was on his way" Violet Parr said patrolling the streets of Municiberg for villains.

"Nice to see you too Violet and if it doesn't show this is sarcasm at its best because near the end I know you were looking for a replacement" John said walking with Violet back to her house.

"Of course I was I knew from the time I asked you that you would never agree to be a super hero because there are things heroes have that you don't".

"Oh please I could be a hero with both arms tied behind my back and my eyes blindfolded. There's nothing to being a hero but smiling for the camera".

"Well at least you two are fighting like exes now we just need to find that spark you guys had when you were dating. The names Fanny by the way and I'm a huge fan" Fanny said vigorously shaking Violet's hand.

"Uhh yeah that's great so what's with the rest of the Motley crew? I mean is this some kind of outcast outreach program?"

"Actually these girls were my friends before we even met and they treated me like royalty" I mean geez an I love you here and there would have been nice" John said with Mrs. Parr opening the door and inviting everybody in.

"John Honey nice to see you again and I'm sure all your friends will introduce themselves in due time. Vie I don't know why you ever let a catch like him go I mean he's just too cute for words" Helen Parr said as Violet mumbled whatever and led John and his gang to the kitchen.

"Ok so you said you had an opportunity for me and being sick of the whole hero thing I'm ready to listen to whatever you have to say".

"KND is doing their own version of the bachelor and they chose me to woo thirty girl's five exes and twenty five girls of my choice and I chose you".

Violet laughed hysterically thinking this was a big joke until she saw none of the other people were laughing and immediately stopped.

"So wait you're telling me that you're going to be a bachelor on TV and girls are going to be fighting over you until only one remains?" Violet asked her voice hoarse from laughing.

"Sure I mean what's wrong with that scenario Violet? I forgot to warn everybody that Violet is a scenario crusher she can analyze any scenario and make up flaws that only she can see".

"Oh there are no flaws in this scenario just the fact that when we started dating and I wanted to parade you all over TV land as my boyfriend and you confessed to me that live TV makes you nervous".

"Yea well what if that nervousness is gone now? I mean people face their fears all the time and I'm sure I can handle a couple thousand cameras on me from time to time" John said as Violet was handed a pen and she signed a release form.

"I'm doing this to see if you really have feelings bottled inside of you which is what you kept repeating towards the end of our relationship" Violet said being led to a limo and driving off for Sheltered Shrubs where a flamy headed poet waited.

Sheltered Shrubs was abuzz with the bachelor hearing all about the KND coming to pick a special someone up and take them back to California for the KND bachelor.

"So Jonny you know where the poet hangs out most so let's check there first and if she's not there we'll go around town screaming her name" Fanny said following John into a Starbucks like coffee shop and a girl with wavy red hair held a guitar on her hip.

"Thank you all for coming now for my next song it's a special request going out to the boy who inspired it" Ginger Foutley said strumming her guitar and singing the first verse to a song John knew very well.

"_I saw you running down these halls_

_It seemed like a lifetime ago_

_You dropped your books and looked at me_

_And I saw love for the first time_

_I asked if you were ok _

_You said you were fine_

_And then I saw a black book that said_".

"The song is incredibly accurate this was how we first met and then we went from strangers to being boyfriend and girlfriend in that second" John said sitting in the front row with the group following him.

"_Even angels cry in the morning's dawn_

_Even angels cry making dew on the lawn_

_Even angels cry I guess I'm not the first_

_Even angels have their hearts burst_

_Yea even angels have their hearts burst_".

The crowd sang along to the chorus this being Ginger's number one hit and she was hailed a pop princess because of it.

"_You grabbed the book and said it meant nothing to me._

_I guess you never saw what was really inside me._

_I felt the same way you did I was there too._

_I knew the same pain you did._

_I knew the sadness engulfing you_

_That was when I had to scream_" Ginger continued with John swaying to the song being there when Ginger invented it.

"_Even angels cry in the morning's dawn_

_Even angels cry making dew on the lawn_

_Even angels cry I guess I'm not the first_

_Even angels have their hearts burst_

_Yea even angels have their hearts burst_".

"This song doesn't sound very romantic it sounds kind of sad actually I mean if there ever was a breakup song this has got to be it" Kuki said as John nodded looking at her.

"It is a breakup song our breakup song and it took her three years to fully understand the words that book was saying and the meaning of them" John said as the crowd cheered Ginger on.

"_I asked what these words meant_

_And you said you had to live them to understand them_

_I asked how to live through angels crying_

_And you said when crying's all you do you learn to let the angels cry too_

_I asked if you were depressed and you said_

_Yes- I have been since I was seven_".

Violet slowly looked over at John and he looked back the both of them finally coming to an understanding that this song was his old life before he found his friends again and listening to this song was like finally saying goodbye to his old life.

"_Even angels cry in the morning's dawn_

_Even angels cry making dew on the lawn_

_I guess even angels cry_

_Baby I'm not the first_

_Angels can have their hearts burst_

_I guess even angels have their hearts burst _

_I just wanted you to know_

_That- even- angels- cry_" Ginger finished to a standing ovation and a roar of applause.

"Thanks everybody I'm going to take five so order up some drinks and get ready for my second set which will be sure to amaze".

Ginger walked up to the counter ordering a cappuccino and John walked up behind her the cashier knowing John well because they both fought over Ginger"

"Here Ginge your drink and you you- you- you- you- you stupid tearing out people's hearts and toying with their emotions can get the hell out right now" Sasha the cashier said and Ginger spun around to find herself face to face with John.

"Sasha I'm not going to be a chew toy for you two dogs again I mean it. Yes he walked away from Sheltered Shrubs but aren't you even going to hear him out instead of making fights that you've been making since you met him?"

"Fine Ginger you're absolutely right so John besides ripping out the heart of this poet/pop singer here what else have you been up to?"

"First off I wanted to work things out it was Ginger who told me maybe it was better off if I just walked away and forgot about her".

"You were the idiot who listened I mean when you left you should have seen her playing your song over and over asking me if I knew the symbolism behind the lyrics".

"Sasha I am warning you if you continue with the negativity John, his new friends, and I are going to leave" Ginger said sipping her drink.

"Fine I'm just warning you Ginger don't fall for Prince Charming's words again because everything he says is a lie. I mean you just got happy again do you really want to go through that again?"

"John nice to see you why don't we walk and talk because there's so much I have to ask you seeing it's been three years since we saw each other" Ginger said walking up to a booth.

"Well after Sheltered Shrubs I spent some time in Danville then after that I went up to a camp in Canada, after that I was back in Mass having my heart torn by my supposed best friend" John said with Ginger noticing the other girls.

"This is Violet, Fanny, Kuki, Rachel, and Abby their my friends and Violet shares more with you being an ex of mine also".

"Yes but I wasn't tempted to write a song about our breakup I just walked away because I had more pressing matters to tend to at that point in my life" Violet said sipping lemonade.

"Well I didn't intend on writing a song about our breakup either but as John probably told you the song was a true story and I felt it was the perfect sendoff for us".

"So how did you deal with the pain and the hole he left in your heart Violet? I mean I wrote a million songs and became a pop sensation what did you do?"

"I continued being a super hero and a teen girl forgetting John ever existed and it was easy until he popped back into my life with an opportunity I believe you should also consider".

"Well I'm all about good opportunities so throw it at me and I'll consider it if I even have time to consider it".

"Well as you probably heard the KND bachelor is coming to your town looking for a special girl and I want that special girl to be you".

Sasha heard enough as he jumped over the counter but security for the KND bachelor blocked him from the booth.

"Sounds like fun so count me in because I'm sure there are a million other songs you can inspire me to write" Ginger said following the gang out and into a limo headed for Danville the bachelor's next stop.

In Danville Ginger and Violet heard rants from two girl's played over and over again on the internet Candace Flynn and Isabella Garcia Shapiro obviously bitter that he left without a goodbye.

"So it was all I love you, I'll always be with you, I can't live without you and I'll never leave you then **BAM** out of the blue he's gone and he didn't even leave a note" Candace said her orange hair crazy and mascara stains under her eyes.

"Yea he told me all that stuff too but I think I intimidated him because I had a posse who to this day can't wait to beat him if we ever see him again" Isabella said The Fireside Girl's crowded behind her.

"So these two are going to be hard to convince but that doesn't mean it's going to be impossible just a bit more force ought to do the trick" Fanny said with Rachel looking over at a very nervous John.

"I'm sure they're over it John I mean it's been two years they can't hold a grudge for that long no girl can it's all for the cameras I bet" Rachel said as they stopped at the Flynn house seeing a giant robotic eagle in the sky.

"Well I can see Phineas and Ferb are still their inventing selves but I want those cameras running just in case a fist or foot meets my body preferably my face" John said as the cameraman followed everyone to the front door and John rang the doorbell.

"Yea hang on Stacy I have a visitor I'm hoping it's Jeremy because him and I have been talking about us a lot lately. What? Oh yeah I'll deal with the giant eagle later" Candace said opening the door to find John and cameras.

"Candace uhh how's umm it uhh going? I mean you look good and there's nothing else in this world that can look as beautiful as-".

John didn't get to finish as a fist that wasn't Candace's met him and he rubbed his face in pain with Candace smiling.

"Alright I guess I deserved that but don't either of you want to know where I was for the past two years? I mean we can all be civil here can't we?" John asked with Candace and Isabella shaking their heads no Isabella shaking her hand in pain.

"Alright well then I need to remind you that there are cameras pointed at me and the both of you so no funny business".

"Great now everybody on TV will get to see you get hit by a pre-teen girl half your size" Isabella said icing her hand as Candace invited the rest of the people inside.

"So you mentioned if we were worried about where you were for the past two years and Isabella may not have been but I was a bit curious until I read Teen Style and saw that you were the new KND bachelor" Candace said giving everybody lemonade.

"Yes that's why I'm here I came to invite you two to join the KND bachelor as my exes and I know I didn't technically break up with either of you but you broke up with me via text message and voicemail".

"I'm in as you probably already knew I would be because I'm a big fan of TV and I know whoever wins the bachelor KND or otherwise becomes a big star which is my dream".

"Good so Izzy what about you? I'll even throw in invites for your cheering section if you like because I want to show you how sorry I am".

"I'll do it it'll get me away from the fanboys and geeks of the Star Wars Universe calling me Princess Lea meets Han Solo reincarnated" Isabella said leaving her luggage for John to lug outside for her.

"Fireside girls hands in we're going to a mansion until I'm eliminated then we come back here for more patch collecting".

The Fireside girl's ran off for the limo happy that they were getting a break from Fireside patch collecting for a while.

"Last stop Canada and to a camp where I faced my worst fears two girls who were already feuding dating me at the same time and hurting me in the end" John said the limo leaving Dansville the robot hawk cawing in the distance.

In Canada we see Gwen and Courtney both standing in front of Camp Wawanakwa snow swirling around them the wind howling in the distance the both of them ready to take the opportunity John had for them no questions asked.

"Well get ready to see fur fly because these two are the most hateful, spiteful, angry, feuding campers on TDI and the years apart just made it worse".

"Out of my way Gwen I'm first because I'm almost frostbitten and that makes me first and you second so there" Courtney said dashing into the limo sticking her tongue out at Gwen in the process.

"Fine I wasn't that cold anyway because unlike Mrs. Capri's over there I know how to dress in Canada and that makes me smarter than Mrs. CIT" Gwen said getting into the limo both Courtney and Gwen pecking John's cheeks.

"Great so that was easy now let's get to California where a mansion waits for us and one more ex who is meeting us when we get to California and soak up the sun" John said the whole limo cheering and John smiling glad to be the KND's new bachelor.

Well that's it for now so please R&R and this is also an ff where I'll offer parts so give me the usual info and I'll work you in. Peace out all

Cindy'sboy93

PS I Own Even Angel's Cry it's a song I came up with myself so again you know R&R and I'll write more very soon


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